Falling ch. 5

A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update, but it’s been a crazy few weeks. I want to take the opportunity to thank everybody for the great reviews – I didn’t expect people would enjoy my story.

As always I don’t own anything. Charlaine Harris created these wonderful characters, I just play tricks with them.

Chapter 5

I don’t know how long we sat on the floor. Eric kept rocking me in his arms, stroking my hair. The tears wouldn’t stop. My entire body was shaking from exhaustion and shock - Eric had broken down all my barriers. I wanted to leave, just leaving everything behind, but I couldn’t. First of all, it was physically impossible to move my body in the state I was in. Secondly, Eric had just shown me everything he felt; he loved me. At this point I couldn’t recollect why I had ever doubted him.

Why hadn’t he told me before or at least given me the smallest indication of his feelings? Why did he wait until I’d done everything possible to push him away, only to reel me back in and shatter my existence? How could he participate in taking everything away from me, only to give it back at this very moment…?

I couldn’t think anymore. My thoughts were becoming incoherent. A new wave of tears washed over me – Eric held me tighter and let love seep through the Bond.

“No, please!” I wailed. “I can’t take anymore!”

Eric let out a silent sigh and closed the Bond again, but never once did he let go of me or stop trying to soothe me with his touch.

At some point he lifted us off of the floor and I clung to him, afraid he was going to let go of me. As much as I had tried to push him out of my life, his embrace was the only thing keeping me from falling into the dark oblivion that I, a mere few hours ago, had sought and thought of as my only solace and salvation.

Instead of letting go of me, he held me tighter. Taking Gran’s old afghan from the couch, he cradled me in it as if I was the most treasured thing on this Earth.

He walked, carrying me in his arms, out of my house and within a few seconds we were airborne.

Time passed differently when we were flying; perhaps I even fell asleep for a while. I felt us slowly descending and eventually touch ground. I stirred around in Eric’s arms trying to figure out where we were, but his arms shielded my face so I wasn’t able to see. I suppose he felt my uneasiness.

“My house,” he whispered softly.

I thought maybe he had taken us to Fangtasia or even some hotel that catered to vampires’ needs, but not in a million years would I have thought he would take me to his house. Vampires are very protective of their resting places – all in all it’s the only place where they are most safe and at the same time the most vulnerable. If Eric trusted me enough to take me to his house, then I had to show him the same courtesy and trust him to take care of me.

As much as I hated depending on others, I guess Tara was right – I had to let him take care of me. I had to swallow my pride and control.

I didn’t know how to let go without fear of falling all over again.

He carried me inside. The house seemed impossibly large, but I still couldn’t see anything. He continued up a flight of stairs, and down a long hallway, before stopping in front of a pair of double doors. Shifting my body so he was holding me in one of his arms, he opened the door and carried me into the dark room.

Eric walked across the room and lay me down on what I assumed to be a bed and sat next to me – the bedspread was cold to the touch and made me shiver. He leaned over and turned on a lamp on the night stand. In all the time that had passed since the intervention at the house, I still hadn’t looked him in the eyes. I couldn’t, I felt so ashamed.

I wish I could say something to him, tell him I wanted him to make things better. I wish I could open the Bond and let him in again, but I couldn’t. Everything still hurt so much, and I didn’t think I would survive another fall.

Eric brushed a stay hair from my forehead and cupped my face as he trailed his hand down my face. He let his hand linger for a moment before he got up and walked towards another set of doors to the right of the bed.

Eric didn’t turn on a light in the other room as he entered, of course he didn’t need to, but the darkness made me uneasy. Then I heard his voice, he was speaking to somebody on the phone. The conversation was over too fast for me to make out anything that was said.

After a while, I saw a faint gleam of light emerge from the room and then the sound of water running. I crawled off the bed and walked to the doors. Even though the doors were partially open, I didn’t want to just barge in and interrupt him, so I knocked before I entered. The bathroom was magnificent. The light I had seen from the bedroom came from an abundance of white candles placed strategically around the room. Their soft light made the black marble that covered the entire room shimmer like millions of diamonds.

To the right of the door there was a double vanity made of the same marble as the rest of the room. The corner furthest from the doors was made into a huge frosted glass enclosed shower with room enough for five people. The west facing wall was made up entirely of mahogany French doors, which were open to the night air. In the middle of the room there was an infinity tub, slightly embedded into the floor. Eric was kneeling on the floor pouring scented bath oil into the water.

I inhaled deeply…lavender. There was a light breeze, fragrant with night flowering jasmine, flowing into the room through the open doors.

I don’t know how long I had been standing in the doorway before Eric stood up and came towards me. As he stood before me, he placed his hands on either side of my arms, gently rubbing them and placed a kiss on top of my head. He let his hands trail down my sides and started to undress me, removing my shirt first. Then my jeans, lightly lifting each foot so he could remove them completely. Lastly, he removed my underwear. There was no reason to feel bashful; he had seen me naked several times before. Yet, I couldn’t help feeling slightly uncomfortable, not because of my exposed skin, but because he had now eradicated everything for me to hide behind. Every single thing I had control over was now gone and Eric was the only one there to help me regain my old self, and I let him.

He carried me over to the tub and placed me into the warm water. Kneeling down beside the tub, he proceeded to wash me with a bath sponge. He started with my shoulders and arms, before moving to my stomach and legs. I leaned forward when he motioned to me so he could wash my back. He finished by washing my hair. There was nothing sexual in his action; he simply took it upon himself to care for me.

After he had finished me hair, I leaned back, closing my eyes and let the calming effect of the water take over. I felt him rise and leave the room. It could have been minutes or hours before he returned, but it didn’t matter. He held out a hand to help me out of the tub, wrapped me in a large white fluffy towel and looked over to a chaise, where he had left a cream coloured flannel pyjama set and then left the bathroom again. I got dressed, dried out my hair and walked in to the bedroom.

Eric was sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees and resting his head in hands. On the bedside table there was a plate with a sandwich and a glass of milk. Apparently the call he had made earlier was to Pam or one of his other people, who had come by with food and clothes for me while we were in the bathroom.

I sat down next to him and started eating. After I’d finished my meal, I placed the plate and glass back on the table. We just sat there for a while. Neither of us had said anything to each other since we got to his house.

Eric took my hands in his, pulled me off the bed and turned down the covers. I lay down on the bed, and Eric tucked the covers tightly around me, and then bent down to kiss my forehead. He rose to his full height again and made to turn around.

I knew if I spoke, whatever came out of my mouth wouldn’t make sense, but I didn’t want him to leave. I grabbed his hand and held it tight. He looked down at our entwined hands and nodded. He got undressed and slipped into the bed on the other side. I turned around, facing him and finally looked into his eyes.

I had never seen Eric tired before. Vampires don’t get tired like humans do, but that was what he looked like, completely exhausted. I put his arm around my waist and pulled myself into his chest. Somehow our bodies had always fit perfectly together, something I had taken for granted the entire time I’d known him.

He nuzzled his face into my hair, taking slow and deliberate breaths.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my ear.

That night I cried myself to sleep in his arms.